The "Newton Fig" Prestigious Agency Award

I'd like to take this time to announce this year's winner of the NEWTON FIG, the award for the agency of prestige...
That's right it's here! The annual award for the advertising agency of the year that represents the highest of standards: both in branding and brandy. This year, the NEWTON FIG goes to:
Shacklesby + Willowsworth- "Good Branding, through Good Breeding". S + W represents the importance of good old-fashioned methods to keep the wippersnappers in line. They say BAH! to your blogs, and GREAT GADSPY! to your google. However, they truly stand for good breeding habits. Why they drink brandy at lunch, and play old- time games like croquet at break time. They're so close to the grave that they hardly need food at all! Using nothing but punchy typwriters, and glasses with dangly chains, good breeding shines through in every pompous print they pop out.
- The Newton Fig serves only fig newtons.