Granny Molly-The habits of

She's old, frail, sweet as sunshine on an arctic day, and best off she's my gran gran...sort of...

I watch gran do granny things, she nudges the doilies, she cleans a lot, she feeds me, and she randomly jars things. My gran is extra special though,...she nudges leopard-print doilies, she cleans her bong, she feeds me good-old fashioned chocolate chip cookies (slightly normal, and takes pride in her baking), and instead of jarring pickles and yams, my gran jars sidecars as that is her all time favorite drink.

"There's never a good time to run out of your favorite lazy vice my dear. You take a lesson now: primp your curls every morning, and make sure you got a good supply. Don't be jonsin' on a nice sunny side car day when you could've been sippin' like a champ."

She's my favorite. I sit on her gold and green couches.

"Pick good colors for your furniture, don't go gettin' out of style now,...it's very important."

her cigarettes burn my lungs, but she makes them look beautiful with this long-stick thing, that she says is 'classic'. her voice is lower than pop pop wilbur's and the rasp that comes along is comforting.

"Here dear, hold gran's holder."

The Intimidation Fart

Many people have nervous twitches or nitchy things that happen when they're embarrassed etc.  I can't get over the intimidation fart...

It gets me every time.  I'm having a meeting and somebody farts loudly mid conversation.  This only happens to a handful of people, however I'm told it only happens around me.  What is it about me that makes people fart, or just generally extra gassy.  I feel the need to seek a specific answer from some medical journal, or newspaper.  Although I can't help seeking pure joy in coming up with my own theories.  

I theorize that the fart is a symbol of filling to the brim with explosive admiration, just kidding but funny though.  Seriously though!  How can I make people fart!  That doesn't even make any goddam sense!  But it's hilarious!  I wonder now what else I have the unknown ability for.  I wait to see if I'm capable of welling up the gas within people to force them to do my bidding.  Perhaps THIS is my X-Men power.

But for the mean time...I'll just consider myself queen of the intestinal track and call it a day.